You Get What You Tolerate

Of all the conversations I’ve had in Vistage rooms over 13 years, the ones about culture almost always come back to the same point: the behavior you walk past is the behavior you’re endorsing.

Sexual harassment. Bullying. Passive-aggressive behavior. The VP who delivers results but leaves wreckage behind. The manager everyone knows is toxic but who’s been there since the beginning. These aren’t mysteries. Leaders know. They just decide — consciously or not — that the cost of acting is higher than the cost of tolerating.

It isn’t. It never is.

Those who harassed, intimidated, or abused in the workplace didn’t believe their behavior would have consequences — because for years, it hadn’t. The organization’s silence was permission. The culture became what it tolerated.

Those of us who lead organizations have choices to make every day about what is acceptable and what is not. We set the tone. We are responsible. We have to own it.

The questions worth sitting with:

• What behaviors are happening in your organization right now that you haven’t addressed?
• What are you creating — through action or inaction — for people who have less power than you?
• What kinds of conversations are going on that shouldn’t be?
• What conversations are not happening that should be?
• What are you and your team encouraging — with your actions? With your inaction?

What you’re willing to tolerate defines your culture more than any mission statement ever will.